There Are No Accidents

Well, today I spent hours doing paperwork for our adoption. I got all the travel documents completed and faxed to our agency by 4:30, one day ahead of the deadline. My hand is cramped from filling out 11 pages of Chinese Visa applications and travel information/release forms. Made me think about how I took dozens of pages of notes in college and never had a hand cramp, but now in the internet age I rarely use a pen. I don't even have that humongous callous on one of the fingers of my right hand that I had for years through high school, college, and grad school. Amazing. So anyway, I got it all done.

Now here's the stupid part. I'm doing all this while juggling with the consequences of my little, uh, fender bender yesterday. Yep, I messed up. I had the luxury of going to a ladies event at church yesterday evening because a friend graciously arranged babysitting for me with a teen from church. So the sitter arrived, I finished up last minute details like giving the kids dessert after their dinner, changed my clothes quickly, and dashed out to the car. I got in and backed out of the garage. And, being totally unused to having any other car in my driveway because I can count the times I've had babysitters on one hand, I backed right into her car which was in the turn around.

Bit of trivia for you: In a contest between the back end of a Honda Odyssey and a Jeep (Liberty or Patriot, I think) with a spare tire on the back, the Jeep wins.


Yep, my Odyssey's back end was smashed, and the lights were smithereens. Can you say "scrrrrruuuuuunch"?



And guess how much damage there was on the Jeep? Notta. Nuthin'. Twasn't the tiniest scratch to her car. I took photos just for the record. But mostly I am so thankful because I love this family from our church and didn't want to ever cause them any trouble. I am praising God that he let me get all the damage for my own idiocy.

I'm also thankful that he is an all-knowing God who kindly let Jay take the Jaguar back to NC this week, leaving the truck in our garage. Thus, I have alternate transportation for myself and the kids while the van is recovering. I know there are some people out there who would say "Well, if God is smart enough to know you'd crash your car and he made Jay leave the truck, why did he even bother to let you crash your car in the first place? Why didn't he just stick his hand out and stop you?" I have a very good answer for that, and I'll share it.

I have a problem with grace. You may remember reading that on this blog. I tend to react to situations in a selfish way, and most often overreact when disciplining my children or confronting others. I am not willing to let things go without letting the other person know how they've put me out, wronged me, or otherwised acted foolishly and blown it. I don't extend grace to others as Christ has extended it to me. For those of you who don't really understand what grace is, it's something that we don't deserve at all, but we all desperately need. Like being loved in the midst of screwing up, or being forgiven when we've really done something unforgiveable. I am the Queen of dishing out what-for.


So here I am, so humbled by a friend who knew my need for a night out and arranged a babysitter as a gift for me (this is grace--I didn't deserve an evening out, but needed it), and in the middle of feeling grateful for her kindness, I smashed up my car. Of course, I had to call Jay and I knew he wouldn't be happy (I just made a huge payment to our adoption agency, Christmas is on the way, and all that other great stuff that looks like $$$). He isn't one to yell, but I knew I had let him down. And when I told him what I had done, he said "Well, take the truck." That's what he said. He told me he'd take care of calling the insurance company; he said he'd arrange everything. And he did. He just wanted me to go out and have a nice evening and don't worry about it. This is grace--I didn't deserve him caring about my evening out with the girls, but I needed it, because all I could do was feel bad about what I had done.



I thought about this a lot all the way to church and all the way back home. What beautiful examples of grace were right in front of me. Then I reflected on two incidents that morning. In the first Jacob got me out of the shower to tell me he spilled his bowl of milk at breakfast. I was ticked off, to say the least. I didn't yell at him, but I got dressed and coldly went downstairs to clean up the mess. I didn't smile at him and tell him it was okay. I didn't offer him more milk, or even offer to let him help clean up. I just put on my best "p.o.'d Momma" face and took care of the mess myself. Then later, after lunch, I noticed the kids had left a huge span of sandwich crumbs under the table, across the kitchen floor, and all over their chairs. I had vacuumed the entire downstairs, including the kitchen, just 20 minutes before. Do you think I was going to just sweep up the crumbs and let it go? Oh no. There would be Justice! I called the kids in, yelled, and ambushed them with a verbal form of chemical warfare. After the raid, I sent them upstairs, showed them the yet unvacuumed carpet, and made them spend the next half hour picking up every tiny speck.

I reflected on these things while driving home last night and was acutely aware of why God let me have my little car crash. I needed to see the stark difference in the way I was treated, with the way I treated others. If I needed to see grace in action, there it was. I immediately thought of the scripture of Psalm 103:10-12 "He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."

He got my attention, and that's all he wanted. Psalm 15:17 says The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Our car can be fixed, but how often can I truly say my heart is fixed? Honestly, I'm very thankful I blew it. Some lessons just require more home work than others.

So, in the midst of all the adoption paperwork, we're dealing with an insurance claim, towing, repair, and the worst of it, a deductible. Not much fun when the Visa applications themselves are running over $600. Let's just say, I might need to start selling plasma pretty soon.

Love,
Petrie

A note about our other blog

Just a reminder to those of you "in the know" (this would be family and very close friends). If you were invited to be a member of our private blog for our trip to China you will need to create a google account and password to view that blog. I want to maintain privacy regarding our new daughter and her adoption/medical issues, so I won't be posting much of our trip to China on this blog. When she gets home and undergoes surgery, updates will also be on the private blog. Of course, I will include some information on this blog, but it will be of a more general nature.

It's possible I missed people whom I love very much and would want to include in the more private areas of our lives, so if you didn't get an invitation and wonder why, it's probably my fault. Please email me and ask to be included. If you have a google or yahoo ID and it doesn't easily identify you, you'll need to let me know who you really are. Someone who's ID is "Snagglepuss" could be someone I adore, but if I don't put your name and face to your ID, I might deny you. Wouldn't want that to happen! So for all our family members, dear friends, and church family, please let me know if you need to be on the list of members.

Love,

Petrie

May I Introduce Our Daughter?

We received the joyful news today that our referal approval arrived at the adoption agency! They are sending it to us via overnight FedEx and we have to sign the papers and get it back to them by Monday. If all goes as planned, we are expected to leave for China late December or early January. Since we have now received the full approval to adopt her, I can share her photos. So with no further ado, I present to you Caroline Mei HuiQi.

Hui Qi at about 12 months old (around March of this year)

Hui Qi this summer with her hair shaved. Short hair sure does age her, doesn't it?

Now we have to jump through the hoops of getting Chinese Visas for the four of us, as well as decide what we need to pack, collect paperwork, and all the other fun stuff that comes six weeks before travel. I'm quite excited and can't think of anything I'd rather be planning to do for the holidays!

Love,

Petrie

Road Trip!

The kids and I travelled down south to visit Grandma and Grandpa, and then I headed up the road to meet Jay for the Marine Corps Ball last weekend. The kids had a great time meeting the new Granddog, Cody, and enjoyed spending Halloween with G & G while I was with Jay. It was the first time we've left my parents at the mercy of the children, and no one seemed the worse for the wear. The kids had a great time and enjoyed going to the Fire Museum, the county fair, a movie, and trick-or-treating. Grandma helped them carve pumpkins, and as is always the case, Grandma's don't get quite as worked up over the mess left behind. My poor kids have to carve pumpkins outside at my house.

Jay and I enjoyed two lovely nights without the children, one of which was spent attending the MC Ball and staying at the Hilton for the night. Jay is now the CO of his unit, so he had the honor of cutting the Marine Corps birthday cake and serving it to the guest of honor, the oldest Marine present, and the youngest Marine present, an annual tradition carried out at Marine Birthday celebrations all over the world.

After six days of visits and running up and down the highway, my parents brought the kids back up to meet us, and on Monday we kissed Daddy goodbye and headed home. We were so blessed to have beautiful weather, gorgeous fall colors, and delightful memories of the week. Thanks again, Mom and Dad, for caring for Merrilee and Jacob and for all the fun things you did with them. They're still talking about it!

Love,

Petrie

I think I froze my pumpkins off today

It was 60 degrees outside when we left the house. It was 49 when we got there. I was really wishing I was back in the toasty warm car. Merrilee's first words once she got out of the car were "I'm really glad you brought us, Mom, but I'm ready to leave." This from a girl who had waited three days to find out what the surprise was.

This was our second annual autumn trip to Forrest Hall Farm, and last year we had gorgeous weather. I kind of thought today would be the same, since it started out sunny and headed into the 60s. But it started to get breezy before we left the house, and I felt like making a treat of hot chocolate to take in a thermos just for fun. As it turned out, it was a much-needed thawing agent when we were done with the hay ride and corn maze.

I detest corn mazes. I don't know what it is about them. I have never seen any of those scary movies involving corn fields that consume people. But for some reason the thought of wandering aimlessly through a field of corn with the prospect of getting oneself lost is completely abhorrent to me. Maybe my parents can shed some light on this aversion of mine (Mom? Dad? Is there something you need to tell me?). I never knew I found corn fields repulsive until I had children who wanted to run through tall dry stalks of rotting corn. Anyway, I did it, but only for the sake of the children. I didn't feel quite so helpless and honestly, I believed Jacob could find our way out if we really did get lost. I never would have done it on my own.

The kids had the most fun running and jumping off the straw bales. Jacob also got to feed the goats. Merrilee had her hands too deep in her pockets to care about them much. Once we were done with the obligatory fun, we headed to the farm store where we grabbed a peck of apples, picked out our "complimentary pumpkin" that came with the paid fun, and headed back to the car for the hot chocolate. We were warming up just as the rain started, and boy was I glad we were on our way home. It was fun, but not as fun as just being home in our cozy warm house with a roof over our heads. Hurray for autumn and pumpkin farms, but thanks be to God for my warm home!

Blessings,

Petrie

The Grand Championship, or "We Have a Winner!"

Today was the Tae Kwon Do Grand Championship Tournament at the Black Belt Academy, and Mr. Jacob participated in threee events: forms, board breaking, and sparring. It was a learning experience for all of us. We had to arrive before 9 am and the competition didn't start until after 9:30am. The participants were divided into age and belt groups, so Jacob competed against four- and five-year old white stripes. The rules for the little kids were a bit different, and each kid went home with some prize or other. The children had to do some events alone, such as forms and board breaking, but the sparring involved them being paired up. I was surprised at the, ahem, shall we say "zeal" of some of them. There were two girls in particular, about nine years old, who seemed to excel in knocking the wind out of each other. I wondered if their mothers were a bit concerned.

Jacob got second place in his forms. Not bad at all. It was a pretty long routine for a kid who can't remember what he's supposed to do with his dirty socks once he gets to top of the staircase with them. The judges gave him a 7.5, 7.5, and 7. The other two kids he competed against got 6,6.5,7; and 7, 7.5,8.

His board breaking was a bit disappointing. He does really well in practice, but for some reason he didn't break the board with the palm strike on the first try. Younger kids (4 &5s) were judged as first place if they broke the boards on the first try. It took him three tries to break it with his palm. His knee strike was excellent, but he got third place because of the palm strike. Ms. Bonnie is the woman guiding him in this video. She is such a patient, kind instructor, and we think the world of her.

Sparring was interesting. There were four children, three boys and one girl, in Jacob's bracket. The first two boys sparred, and then Jacob was paired with the girl. They both went at it with their feet, but were pretty stingy with the punches. Sparring lasted exactly one minute, and were scored on the number of punches and kicks that made contact with the body. They didn't have playoffs between winners with the lower age groups, so after each pair sparred, they were done. At any rate, all four kids were given first place. I'm not sure how that happened. If you listen closely during the video, you'll hear Merrilee sqeal with delight when she hears that Jacob got first place. She understands competition, and she knows very well that first place is definitely better than second or third.

Jacob felt that he did a great job, and he really did. He's kinda neat because he goes into everything he does with gusto and just doesn't get nervous. He takes it all in stride. He was sure he won the Grand Championship; after all, he got all three trophies...a first, second and third! How much better could a kid do? I think he would have been disappointed if he had gotten three first places. The third place trophie really was the prettiest with it's glowing red pillar.

He was even very good about paying attention while the other kids were competing and he could only sit and watch. Not easy to do when the entire competition lasted four hours, and he was competing for only about six minutes out of that whole time. In this photo he's looking at Master Shim, the owner of the Black Belt Academy, and a Tae Kwon Do Grand Master.

His biggest grin came after the competition when we got back in the car. Daddy called to see how it went, and when I handed Jacob the phone, his smile lit up his whole face! It was a long, but wonderful morning, and I'm glad Jacob had the opportunity to shine.

Blessings,

Petrie

Success!

Her first triumph in blowing up a balloon...

...albeit, a short-lived one.