I'm not sure how to share this post, because it's mostly meant to be a recorded memory and reminder for me of God's grace in a difficult situation. If it blesses anyone else, then I'm thankful for that, too.
This week was the last week of swim lessons for Merrilee and Jacob. Those kids have worked so hard in the past four weeks and have really accomplished a lot. I'm very pleased with both of them.
On Wednesday I told Merrilee to ask her teacher if she could stay later after her lesson to practice treading water a little longer, just to get more practice and see if she could do it for one minute. So after class I walked over to Merrilee's group while Merrilee asked the instructor for a little extra time. There was a little boy from the group who apparently hadn't been taught to mind his own business, and he demanded to know what Merrilee wanted to ask the teacher and where she was going. For some reason he took an intense personal interest in what was going on. I told him Merrilee was going to practice treading water and I walked away.
So the teacher spent more than just the minute or two with Merrilee. She took her to the deep end, let her swim back and forth across the pool, and then let her tread water for one minute intervals three times. Then she even let Merrilee practice diving a little bit more. I was blessed and grateful that the instructor was interested enough in Merrilee that she spent about an extra fifteen minutes with her when she didn't need to.
When we got home that afternoon, Merrilee seemed quite sullen and thoughful. I asked her if something was wrong and she responded by asking me if I ever had someone make fun of me. I told her that I had, and that it hurt my feelings. She then told me that a kid in her swim class had made fun of her. Apparently the instructor had told the children to do something, and when Merrilee tried to do it, one of the other child sang the "Na, na na, na, na, you ca-an't do it" song. Merrilee was embarassed and hurt. She has a very tender heart and I doubt she's ever even considered making fun of anyone in her life, so this cut her to the quick.
I told her that getting made fun of happens often, and that the person making fun really doesn't know her well enough to know what's inside of her. And of course, that we should not compare ourselves to others or take what others think of us too seriously. But come on, we all know that there are no magic words to completely heal our kids hurt feelings when something like this happens. I knew what I said wouldn't be the salve she needed. However, I did remind her that knowing how it felt should help her to remember to never do it to someone else. I also told her that the best thing she could say to someone in a situation like this is "Duh, of course I can't do it, that's why I'm in swim lessons!"
The next day, Thursday, was to be the final day of swim lessons...you know, the day when the kids get to slide down the slide and use the diving board. Big fun day, but no formal instruction. So Wednesday had been the official testing day and end of lessons. I prepared the kids the week before that they should not expect to pass their levels so easily this time. They were both in very challenging levels for their abilities. Jacob tends to sink like a rock (he's just made densely, and to defy gravity, even in water, is a major feat for him), and Merrilee's level III required learning several strokes that she'd never done before. I felt both kids were going to need to repeat their levels at least once.
So imagine my surprise on Thursday when Merrilee's teacher hands her the certificate along with the Red Cross Swimmming Instruction card that indicates that she passed level III! I almost fell out of my flip flops! Turns out, only two kids out of the class passed. Merrilee was every bit as surprised as I was.
So here's the clincher. After the fun hour of swimming, jumping, diving, and sliding, it was time to leave. As we got out on the sidewalk, I saw thenosey curious boy climbing on a retaining wall. When we were past him I asked Merrilee "So which kid in the class was it who made fun of you?", to which she replied "That boy we just walked by." (Imagine that....) Then I asked her "And who was the other child who passed level III? Was it him?"
She pointed to a little girl getting in a car with her mother. "No Mom, it was that girl."
Thank God for small favors. My daughter got to see that we should never take too seriously someone who makes fun of us. Proverbs 19:11 says "A man's wisdom give him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense."
Now I pray that I would have the wisdom not to teach my daughter to compare herself to others and throw the "Na, na na, na, na" song back at him. It is so tempting to teach her that "It serves him right for making fun of you." Fortunately, God knew I'd be tempted in that way, and he brought a friend to remind me (before Thursday's swim lesson took place) that comparing ourselves to others can only have one of two outcomes: pride or despair. And both are sins.
Lord, help me to teach my children to know their blessings come from you, whether they be material blessings or accomplishments. And give me the grace to show my children how to be graceful when those around us are not. Help me to remember Proverbs 17:9 "He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats a matter separates close friends."
My only regret is that this event didn't occur last week. If it had, I think I would have told Merrilee to invite the boy to VBS.
Still growing in grace--and with a lot to learn,
Petrie
This week was the last week of swim lessons for Merrilee and Jacob. Those kids have worked so hard in the past four weeks and have really accomplished a lot. I'm very pleased with both of them.
On Wednesday I told Merrilee to ask her teacher if she could stay later after her lesson to practice treading water a little longer, just to get more practice and see if she could do it for one minute. So after class I walked over to Merrilee's group while Merrilee asked the instructor for a little extra time. There was a little boy from the group who apparently hadn't been taught to mind his own business, and he demanded to know what Merrilee wanted to ask the teacher and where she was going. For some reason he took an intense personal interest in what was going on. I told him Merrilee was going to practice treading water and I walked away.
So the teacher spent more than just the minute or two with Merrilee. She took her to the deep end, let her swim back and forth across the pool, and then let her tread water for one minute intervals three times. Then she even let Merrilee practice diving a little bit more. I was blessed and grateful that the instructor was interested enough in Merrilee that she spent about an extra fifteen minutes with her when she didn't need to.
When we got home that afternoon, Merrilee seemed quite sullen and thoughful. I asked her if something was wrong and she responded by asking me if I ever had someone make fun of me. I told her that I had, and that it hurt my feelings. She then told me that a kid in her swim class had made fun of her. Apparently the instructor had told the children to do something, and when Merrilee tried to do it, one of the other child sang the "Na, na na, na, na, you ca-an't do it" song. Merrilee was embarassed and hurt. She has a very tender heart and I doubt she's ever even considered making fun of anyone in her life, so this cut her to the quick.
I told her that getting made fun of happens often, and that the person making fun really doesn't know her well enough to know what's inside of her. And of course, that we should not compare ourselves to others or take what others think of us too seriously. But come on, we all know that there are no magic words to completely heal our kids hurt feelings when something like this happens. I knew what I said wouldn't be the salve she needed. However, I did remind her that knowing how it felt should help her to remember to never do it to someone else. I also told her that the best thing she could say to someone in a situation like this is "Duh, of course I can't do it, that's why I'm in swim lessons!"
The next day, Thursday, was to be the final day of swim lessons...you know, the day when the kids get to slide down the slide and use the diving board. Big fun day, but no formal instruction. So Wednesday had been the official testing day and end of lessons. I prepared the kids the week before that they should not expect to pass their levels so easily this time. They were both in very challenging levels for their abilities. Jacob tends to sink like a rock (he's just made densely, and to defy gravity, even in water, is a major feat for him), and Merrilee's level III required learning several strokes that she'd never done before. I felt both kids were going to need to repeat their levels at least once.
So imagine my surprise on Thursday when Merrilee's teacher hands her the certificate along with the Red Cross Swimmming Instruction card that indicates that she passed level III! I almost fell out of my flip flops! Turns out, only two kids out of the class passed. Merrilee was every bit as surprised as I was.
So here's the clincher. After the fun hour of swimming, jumping, diving, and sliding, it was time to leave. As we got out on the sidewalk, I saw the
She pointed to a little girl getting in a car with her mother. "No Mom, it was that girl."
Thank God for small favors. My daughter got to see that we should never take too seriously someone who makes fun of us. Proverbs 19:11 says "A man's wisdom give him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense."
Now I pray that I would have the wisdom not to teach my daughter to compare herself to others and throw the "Na, na na, na, na" song back at him. It is so tempting to teach her that "It serves him right for making fun of you." Fortunately, God knew I'd be tempted in that way, and he brought a friend to remind me (before Thursday's swim lesson took place) that comparing ourselves to others can only have one of two outcomes: pride or despair. And both are sins.
Lord, help me to teach my children to know their blessings come from you, whether they be material blessings or accomplishments. And give me the grace to show my children how to be graceful when those around us are not. Help me to remember Proverbs 17:9 "He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats a matter separates close friends."
My only regret is that this event didn't occur last week. If it had, I think I would have told Merrilee to invite the boy to VBS.
Still growing in grace--and with a lot to learn,
Petrie
1 comment:
And he would have been welcomed with open arms. YOU are a blessing to all who know you, but especially your children.
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