Blessed Among Mommas

Yesterday I woke up with a terrific migraine headache. I took aspirin, had some coffee, had a muffin and a glass of milk, but nothing helped. In fact, I mostly just got sick to my stomach the more I tried to get rid of the headache. I told the kids we were just going to have to be late to VBS. And if we didn't make it to VBS, then at least I hoped to get them to swim lessons by 11 am. This Thursday was particularly difficult, because we're going from VBS to swim lessons to gymnastics all between 9 and 1:30.

Unfortunately the headache was so bad that I cried a little in front of the kids. It has happened before, and they know my headaches are killers. The sad part is that there is nothing the kids can do except try to stay quiet and let me lie in bed for awhile.

So Merrilee, ever the compassionate one, made a card for me. She loves to make cards, and I love to receive them, but I have to say of all the cards she's ever made for me, this one touched me the most.




Thank you, Sweet Girl. I love you.

Momma

Swimming in the depths of grace

I'm not sure how to share this post, because it's mostly meant to be a recorded memory and reminder for me of God's grace in a difficult situation. If it blesses anyone else, then I'm thankful for that, too.

This week was the last week of swim lessons for Merrilee and Jacob. Those kids have worked so hard in the past four weeks and have really accomplished a lot. I'm very pleased with both of them.

On Wednesday I told Merrilee to ask her teacher if she could stay later after her lesson to practice treading water a little longer, just to get more practice and see if she could do it for one minute. So after class I walked over to Merrilee's group while Merrilee asked the instructor for a little extra time. There was a little boy from the group who apparently hadn't been taught to mind his own business, and he demanded to know what Merrilee wanted to ask the teacher and where she was going. For some reason he took an intense personal interest in what was going on. I told him Merrilee was going to practice treading water and I walked away.

So the teacher spent more than just the minute or two with Merrilee. She took her to the deep end, let her swim back and forth across the pool, and then let her tread water for one minute intervals three times. Then she even let Merrilee practice diving a little bit more. I was blessed and grateful that the instructor was interested enough in Merrilee that she spent about an extra fifteen minutes with her when she didn't need to.

When we got home that afternoon, Merrilee seemed quite sullen and thoughful. I asked her if something was wrong and she responded by asking me if I ever had someone make fun of me. I told her that I had, and that it hurt my feelings. She then told me that a kid in her swim class had made fun of her. Apparently the instructor had told the children to do something, and when Merrilee tried to do it, one of the other child sang the "Na, na na, na, na, you ca-an't do it" song. Merrilee was embarassed and hurt. She has a very tender heart and I doubt she's ever even considered making fun of anyone in her life, so this cut her to the quick.

I told her that getting made fun of happens often, and that the person making fun really doesn't know her well enough to know what's inside of her. And of course, that we should not compare ourselves to others or take what others think of us too seriously. But come on, we all know that there are no magic words to completely heal our kids hurt feelings when something like this happens. I knew what I said wouldn't be the salve she needed. However, I did remind her that knowing how it felt should help her to remember to never do it to someone else. I also told her that the best thing she could say to someone in a situation like this is "Duh, of course I can't do it, that's why I'm in swim lessons!"

The next day, Thursday, was to be the final day of swim lessons...you know, the day when the kids get to slide down the slide and use the diving board. Big fun day, but no formal instruction. So Wednesday had been the official testing day and end of lessons. I prepared the kids the week before that they should not expect to pass their levels so easily this time. They were both in very challenging levels for their abilities. Jacob tends to sink like a rock (he's just made densely, and to defy gravity, even in water, is a major feat for him), and Merrilee's level III required learning several strokes that she'd never done before. I felt both kids were going to need to repeat their levels at least once.

So imagine my surprise on Thursday when Merrilee's teacher hands her the certificate along with the Red Cross Swimmming Instruction card that indicates that she passed level III! I almost fell out of my flip flops! Turns out, only two kids out of the class passed. Merrilee was every bit as surprised as I was.

So here's the clincher. After the fun hour of swimming, jumping, diving, and sliding, it was time to leave. As we got out on the sidewalk, I saw the nosey curious boy climbing on a retaining wall. When we were past him I asked Merrilee "So which kid in the class was it who made fun of you?", to which she replied "That boy we just walked by." (Imagine that....) Then I asked her "And who was the other child who passed level III? Was it him?"

She pointed to a little girl getting in a car with her mother. "No Mom, it was that girl."

Thank God for small favors. My daughter got to see that we should never take too seriously someone who makes fun of us. Proverbs 19:11 says "A man's wisdom give him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense."

Now I pray that I would have the wisdom not to teach my daughter to compare herself to others and throw the "Na, na na, na, na" song back at him. It is so tempting to teach her that "It serves him right for making fun of you." Fortunately, God knew I'd be tempted in that way, and he brought a friend to remind me (before Thursday's swim lesson took place) that comparing ourselves to others can only have one of two outcomes: pride or despair. And both are sins.

Lord, help me to teach my children to know their blessings come from you, whether they be material blessings or accomplishments. And give me the grace to show my children how to be graceful when those around us are not. Help me to remember Proverbs 17:9 "He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats a matter separates close friends."

My only regret is that this event didn't occur last week. If it had, I think I would have told Merrilee to invite the boy to VBS.

Still growing in grace--and with a lot to learn,
Petrie

Last Day of Swim Lessons

Finally! My rushed mornings and daily treks into town are over. It was a wonderful experience, and the kids really got a lot out of swim lessons, but I am pooped! I'm ready for a week with no scheduled activities whatsoever.

Jacob was in level II and got a little more comfortable swimming on his back, but still cannot do it alone; the teacher has to hold a hand under his head. Merrilee completed level III and learned to do the crawl and breast strokes. Learning to swim with her head out of the water was a big challenge. She can swim just fine under water, but above water and/or coming up for air takes a little more coordination.

Yesterday was the big finish, and they had the diving board/slide event in the deep end. Jacob asked me if he could go without his life vest, but I had to gently request that he wear one. He still has to stop to touch the bottom with his feet every few strokes--I didn't think that would work with him in 12 feet of water.

Katie Mei got in on the action, too. Merrilee's instructor came up to me and asked if I'd like her to take Katie Mei down the slide, since Katie Mei was just sitting around with nothing to do while I took photos. So I asked Katie Mei if she wanted to go down the slide and she said "Yes". She didn't look like she was thrilled, but at least she wasn't afraid. I thought that was really nice of Ms. Linley to offer.

Merrilee did her first actual dive off the board, where her feet didn't jump out ahead of her. It looked more like a belly-flop to me, but her instructor gave her credit for a dive because she finally didn't put her feet out first (like in the first two photos). Notice, there is no life vest on this girl. And this is in 12 feet of water!

Now I'm told I need to get Merrilee on a swim team to really hone her skills. I've heard this from several people. So I guess next year we'll be looking at more hours spent at the pool. It's going to take me a whole fall, winter, and spring to get ready for that.

Love,

Petrie

No, Your Honor, We Didn't Use Her for a Doorstop

Doesn't it figure? Last Saturday we had Katie Mei's six-month post placement visit with the social worker to satisfy China's requirements. And the week leading up to the visit Katie Mei managed to bash her forehead in the exact same spot four, yes FOUR, times.

The first bash happened on a Friday when she was outside playing while Daddy worked in the garage. He turned on the air compressor (which about scared the snot out of her) so she took off running and fell on the asphalt driveway. She got a lovely blue goose egg and a scrape on her forehead and nose. Then, the next day, our family participated in a church workday. While I was washing windows in one of the Sunday School rooms with Katie Mei in tow, she pulled on the back of a chair toppling it right down on top of herself. The frame of the chair hit her right on her lumpy forhead. The goose egg grew more purple and swelled.

Two days went by and the bruise started to get more tear-drop shaped. Then on Monday, as she was outside playing and having a blast with M & J, she went down the slide while Jacob stood at the bottom to catch her. Now Jacob has a forehead of concrete, and he's quite used to using it to catch walls, floors, and sidewalks. But Katie Mei had never met Jacob's forehead before. So as she came down the slide, their fates crossed, and her beckoning goose egg met Jacob's indomitable frontal lobe. His skull was no match for her tender little lump, and needless to say, her pain was heard and felt by all who witnessed the event. Even a bag of frozen Ore-Ida Tator Tots couldn't stop the tears and discomfort.

Finally, by Wednesday, the goose egg, which I was starting to believe was from the Goose That Laid the Golden Egg, was beginning to calm down a bit. The scab on her nose was about gone, and her forehead was a paler shade of purple. I was certainly feeling more hopeful that we'd get past this, and by the weekend we'd be in the clear.

Well, it wasn't meant to be. On Saturday morning, just a few hours before the social worker was to visit, Katie Mei and Merrilee were playing in the toy room. Suddenly I heard a crash, and then a cry. Merrilee shouted that Katie Mei had fallen and hit her head directly on the edge of the drawer of the toy table. I knew then that we were not going to be able to hide the remnants of the week's worth of bashes under her thin bangs.

So far we've gotten no calls from the Department of Social Services. And no police or members of Family Services have come to our door. We might be safe. But Katie Mei...I dunno. She might need a helmet.

The bruising has now gone down into her eyes, and she looks like she's been in a gang fight. I'm hoping we can get to next weekend without any more forehead issues. I don't think I can take it anymore.

Jumping for Joy!

I have to admit, I was more than pleasantly surprised at how swim lessons turned out on Thursday. Both kids were naturals stepping up to the diving board and jumping off. Jacob had no fear and just walked up and jumped right in. Merrilee, who has expressed a very healthy concern regarding jumping into deep water, was a natural. I told her the diving board was like the vault in gymnastics and that she could run and jump at the end and spring into the water. So her first try, she just ran and jumped off the end. I was amazed! For her second try, she decided to run and spin in the air as she jumped. You can imagine, my jaw dropped. The photo is below. This is only her second time on a diving board over 12 feet of water.

I must say, I was expecting some scary faces and a little fear, and maybe even hoping to get a good picture of a little flash of fright on one of their faces, to no avail. Both my kids were valiant swimmers yesterday, and I am reeling in joy for them!

So we are all pleased with Merrilee and Jacob passing their starting levels after just two weeks of swim lessons. Merrilee will go into level 3 and Jacob into level 2. Now the tough stuff starts because both kids are entering into swimming levels where they will be challenged much more. Merrilee must master the butterfly stroke before she can move on to level 4. Since she only has two weeks to learn it this summer, she'll most likely not pass (I'm not going to hold her to high expectations on this...I was never taught to do this swim stroke, and it looks difficult to me!). I believe she'll pick up on level 3 next year when we start lessons again, unless I go crazy and decide to extend lessons and push my sanity envelope a little longer this summer.

Merrilee's very first diving board jump.

Jacob's second diving board jump.

And just for the record, Katie Mei has also been enjoying the baby pool and getting more comfortable being around lots of people during our two weeks of swim lessons. She's always been a little hesitant about walking too far away from me, and to play in the water without me standing right next to her was outside her comfort zone. But now she is able to play in the baby pool while I sit 15 feet away. She is growing so much, and it's great to see her become more comfortable in a larger social environment.

Thanks for letting me brag on my kids a little bit today. These little successes are some of the things about motherhood that bring me so much joy. Knowing my kids worked hard and endured, and successfully accomplished their goals without my help, is a goal accomplished for me!

Love,

Petrie

Summer Fun for a Little While Longer

I'm starting to get that itch to start up homeschool again, but Merrilee is not the least bit interested. Of course, I wouldn't do it in July, but this time of year makes me feel like I need to get started or I'll get behind. It's probably left over thinking from last year when I knew we had to start in early August because we had a trip to China and a hospital stay looming ahead of us. This year we've got a likely move to another state which will eat into our school year. I also think it's because this is the time of year I order books and teaching materials, and once they start arriving I want to use them. I love the feeling of new text books, fresh subject matter, and the lure of a new science book.

But instead of starting school, I'm trying to let the kids enjoy the nice, not-too-hot days we've had. Swim lessons will last the entire month of July (and I'll have some more fun photos after Thursday, when the kids get to end the first session with jumps off the diving board into the deep end of the pool. We're all looking forward to that, though I wonder if they'll chicken out when they finally step out onto that board over 12 feet of water. This will make for some interesting photos.)

Jacob got a new tent last week. He's been begging me to make a tent in the backyard, but I was not that excited about taking my blankets and sheets outside into buggy tickville. So I went ahead and dished out the bucks to buy him a nice little tent. He had instant friends.





We also got out the Slip-N-Slide last week when we had some technical difficulties with the backyard pool, and the kids enjoyed tearing up the lawn. Katie Mei always wants to do what the big kids do, but she didn't quite get the hang of running and sliding. She would lie down on her belly and let me give her a big shove, sending her sliding to the end. However, her preference was to crawl down the length of the Slip-N-Slide on her hands and knees until she got to the end and then lay her chin on the orange bumper as if she had slid into it the way Merrilee and Jacob did.

Yesterday we went to the playground and I was pleasantly surprised to see that Katie Mei has developed a bit more strength and independence on the playground equipment. She can now climb the steps to the top without any help and go down the slide on her own. Her balance and upper body strength, which had diminished after her long stay in the hospital, has improved and I was able to step back and just let her have fun. I'm looking forward to having Jay home this weekend so we can take her back to the playground and he can see her accomplishments for himself. By the way, I did not pull her socks all the way up her legs. She insisted that her socks be maxed out yesterday, and wouldn't have it any other way.

We've got to get ready for our swim lessons once again this morning, but stay tuned for diving board photos at the end of the week.

Love,

Petrie

She picked out her own accessories

I'm not making this up. Katie Mei decided today that she was going to wear her green Christian fish necklace and Merrilee's old Sea World hat. She turned the hat backwards herself, and put on the biggest show of a smile, begging me to take her picture once she saw the camera. After I took a picture of her alone, she came over to me and grabbed my neck for me to take a picture of us together.

She cracks me up. She can barely talk but she sure has a lot on her mind and thinks of things I wouldn't expect. Everyday with her is a bout of hilarity waiting to happen.

(Three blog entries in one day...guess I have too much time on my hands today without swim lessons!)