Encouraged and Hopeful, Even in Our Grief

Today I received a note from a pediatric cardiologist who reviewed our new daughter's file. His words were encouraging in that they provided hope that surgery and cardiac supervision could help her lead a normal life. It is gladness, in these circumstances, to breathe a sigh of relief and move forward leaving behind so many of the phantom worries we concoct in our minds. We know that we face weeks or even months of hospital stays, scary surgeries, and the possibility of complications. However, when one reads a report that indicates "it is manageable in the hands of an experienced surgical team at one of the national pediatric cardiac surgical centers," the burden of the heart is lifted and we look to the future with hope.

That being said, there is never a guarantee that any of us will live long healthy lives. A family with our agency just adopted a little girl this summer. The child had an uncorrected heart defect and went in for a catheterization on Monday. She coded during the procedure and the doctor had to perform CPR manually for 45 minutes. She was put on life support. She never regained consciousness and a CT yesterday showed her brain had been damaged beyond hope. She died yesterday. It is very sad for all of us. Her heart was not even the cause of her death. An artery was nicked during the cath procedure, and though it’s only about a 1% risk, it happened. Though this is the ultimate dread of any parent, and great cause of grief for all of us, it also gives us reason to hope.

We cannot live our lives fearing what may lie ahead based on our own understanding of circumstances. We see trouble all around us. Any number of things could occupy our thoughts and make us fear the future; many things we spend time worrying about and trying to fix, when in the end they have little impact on us at all.

But we have a hope in the Providence of God. He is in control. He knows our every need, and before any one of us came into being, he knew the number of our days. He cares for us. He cares for the little child who needs a loving family. Whether her life is to be long and lively, or short and complicated, He provides. This sweet child who left us yesterday knew the touch of a mother, the playful laugh of a daddy, and the fellowship of a sister before her days were over. What a loving God to let this little one experience such love in her last weeks! God cares. He provides what we need. Even if we don't understand what those needs are, He does. And He does it all with love. Yes, the little one's family grieves now, but they are filled with the loving memories of their little girl, and their hearts are full with the joy of knowing God entrusted the last days of her lives to them. What a privilege!


So even if our own little girls's heart has so many problems, we remain hopeful in knowing that she is in the Lord’s hand, no matter what. And we will face each day submitting to His will for her life. We are just there to provide whatever He wills for her, as He cares for her during her time on this earth. When we made this decision to adopt her, despite all her heart problems, the one question that I kept coming back to is "If she died soon after we got her, would it be worth it?" and the answer in my heart was "Yes."

I am still struck that right on the heels of our own decision to adopt her, this family suffered such sadness. But I can truly say, I understand how they can feel such joy in their grief. It IS worth it. And God cares. He provides.

Blessings to you all,
Petrie

Trip to Pennsylvania

We spent the weekend at a reunion with some of the families who shared our first trip to China. Merrilee and the girls spent some time getting to know each other, and had a blast at Knoebels amusement park. It is a wonderful little park and has so much to do for little ones. Look into it if you haven't been there before. The admission is free you just buy coupon books of tickets to ride the rides. Other than food (lunch, lots of bottles of water, two cotton candies, and a caramel apple), the rides only cost us $20! And that was for two children and the occasional adult riding with them.

The drive took us a good six hours going up because of some traffic emergencies resulting in detours. But on the way home it was only about 5 hours with a pretty long stop at McD's.

The kids didn't want to leave, but alas, all fun times come to an end. We enjoyed spending the time with families who are dear to our heart, and really wish we all lived closer so we could enjoy watching our girls grow up knowing each other even better. But we felt blessed for the time we had. We will have another reunion in the future, and hope the families that couldn't make it this year will be able to come another time.

Even More Joy to Spread!

We are overjoyed to share some good news! We have accepted the referral of a little girl, soon to become the newest member of our family! We have sent in our paperwork, and still have to wait for China to accept and approve us. Our file has been logged in with the China Center for Adoption Affairs since July 2007, and we have been waiting for news of a child ever since then. She does have a heart condition, so we ask for your prayers for her health as well as quick processing of the paperwork. We don't expect to travel for possibly six months.

Thus far, we do not have a name for her, though Jacob has suggested "Flower". She is 17 months old and resides in Nanchang City, Jiangxi province. It is the light beige area on the south eastern portion of the map. Nanchang is the capital of that province. Interestingly, all three of our children will come from adjacent provinces.

First days of school

We've begun home school again for the fall, and alas, I've decided to keep Jacob home and do pre-K work with him myself. He seems to really be enjoying sharing the "privilege" Merrilee has in doing schoolwork with Mom. He's learning to wait quietly when I'm working with her, and he's trying hard to follow directions. So far, so good. Here are just a few photos of our mornings.

Need a Giggle?

I ran across a blog today that had me laughing out loud during the kids' nap time. If you really need a good belly laugh and have a half-hour to spare, check out http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/ . Just enjoy each cake for the unique, miserable creation it is, and then giggle over the commentary that follows. By the time I got to the earlier posts, I had a stitch in my side and tears in my eyes. I'm so glad these "cake wrecks" happened to other people! Enjoy.
Disclaimer: Not all the cakes and comments on the blog are rated G, so consider yourselves warned.

Sleepers

Sometimes being a kid just frees you up to relax any way and anywhere you want. Don't you wish grown ups could zonk out so easily and freely?

Birthday Weekend

Well, to quote Merrilee "That was the best birthday I ever had!" I turned 43 on Sunday and we spent the weekend in North Carolina. We packed more into one weekend then I think we ever have in an entire week-long vacation! The weather held out great, considering the pop-up tropical storm, Cristobal, that came out of nowhere on Saturday. It made for big waves at the shore when we went to Topsail Beach, but that didn't stop the kids and I from braving the rough surf. We took our dunks in stride and enjoyed the body surfing.

In contrast, the kids enjoyed swimming in the New River at the marina where the waves were non-existent. We just kept watch for the American Alligators that hang out in those parts. Didn't see any, though. Too bad...the kids were kinda hoping to have to out run one.

On Sunday we had breakfast at Cracker Barrel and then Jay asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday. I had thought about it ahead of time, so I think I caught him off guard when I said I wanted to go roller skating. But he came through like a hero, called a friend and found us the roller rink called Wheel Fun! It was so fun showing the kids how we used to rent skates and spend our time when we were in our teens. It has been thirty years since I skated! Despite all the bumps and falls, the kids loved it and didn't want to go home when I asked them if they'd had enough. They managed to keep it up for nearly two hours. We had a blast. And I have to say...Jay was quite Da Man on the floor! I didn't know he had it in him! Ladies, if you've gotten to the point of ho hum with your man, take him roller skating and see what you might be missing!

After we wore ourselves out skating, we went to the arcade in the lobby of Wheel Fun! I'm not an arcade person; I cannot stand the stress of video games, especially the kind Jay likes to play. I had to get away when Merrilee was playing one of those driving games; she was all over the place running down pedestrians and going the wrong way on the highway. I was getting way too strung out and was nearly hollering for her to "Turn the wheel, turn the wheel! Look out for that guy!" while Jay was holding her accelerator down and paying no attention to her, as he helped Jacob with his game. I was freaking out because she was going too fast and I didn't even realize she wasn't using the pedals because her legs were too short. It was awful. I was so glad when we switched to dunking basketballs. Whew, so much more relaxing.

We restored our spent energy with a chocolate cake/vanilla ice cream layer cake. It was a marvelous birthday and I think Merrilee can speak for all of us in saying it really was "The best birthday I ever had".